Having Jesus In Your Heart 20

“As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at his tax collector’s booth. ‘Follow me and be my disciple,’ Jesus said to him. So Matthew got up and followed him.

“Later, Matthew invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. But when the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, ‘Why does your teacher eat with such scum?’

“When Jesus heard this, he said, ‘Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do.’ Then he added, ‘Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: “I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.” For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.’

“One day the disciples of John the Baptist came to Jesus and asked him, ‘Why don’t your disciples fast like we do and the Pharisees do?’ 

“Jesus replied, ‘Do wedding guests mourn while celebrating with the groom? Of course not. But someday the groom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast. Besides, who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the old skins would burst from the pressure, spilling the wine and ruining the skins. New wine is stored in new wineskins so that both are preserved.’” Matthew 9:9-17

“All the things the person has thought, intended, or done since early childhood have entered into the composition of his life. They have also formed themselves into a network that is such that one cannot be moved without all of them together being moved. For a wicked person is an image of hell, and a good person is an image of heaven; and also the evils and falsities with a wicked person are interconnected in the same way as the communities of hell are with one another, of which that person is a part, while the forms of good and the truths with a good person are interconnected in the same way as heavenly communities are with one another, of which this person is a part. From this it is evident that the evils and falsities with a wicked person cannot be removed suddenly from where they are. They can be removed only in the measure that forms of good and truths in their proper order have been implanted more deeply within the person; for heaven with a person removes hell. If the removal were done suddenly the person would pass out, for the whole network of things, every single one, would be thrown into confusion and deprive him of his life.” Secrets of Heaven §9334

FROM THE PASTOR

The picture the story gives us is of Matthew sitting in a tollbooth by the road, collecting tax on the merchandise people were bringing into Capernaum. This made him unpopular for two reasons: one, he was employed by the occupying Romans; and two, he probably collected extra money which he kept, making him rich. Thus he was a traitor and a thief.

And then suddenly, he does an amazing thing. He literally walks away from his table and gives that all up to train to be a teacher of Christ’s ideas. He does it on the spot, immediately. What makes this miraculous is that such changes of heart normally take a long time. He didn’t know what it meant to follow Jesus. He didn’t know any of the new teachings. So it must have been that he had a feeling in his heart that this was the best thing to do. And it must have been Jesus who put that feeling in him. Matthew is an example of the kind of people that Jesus Christ can heal. No matter how evil a person is, if their heart is turned, attracted by the mercy and forgiveness Jesus offers, they can be healed and become a model Christian. On the other hand, if you are satisfied with your life, and you do all the “correct” things like the Pharisees, it may be that you will be hypocritical and deny that you are spiritually sick. If so, it is likely you will reject the Lord’s call to change your heart and abide in Him.

Jesus then describes three aspects of your spiritual growth. 1. It is important that you take the time and make the effort to enjoy the happiness in your life as a gift from God. Whenever you feel close to the Lord, rejoice! This prepares you for the times when He feels absent. That is when you will do the hard work. That is when you feel hungry. That is when you feel like something is missing. But your memory of the good times can carry you through those down times. So look for and appreciate them when you have them. “Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them?” Jesus asked. The implied answer is, no.

2. As we noted in the above passage from the Writings for the New Church, the things you have come to love will change over time. You are discovering that in order to become an adult you have to give up and let go of many old thoughts and feelings about your life. Some of this will be easy – you just won’t want to play with dolls or soldiers anymore. Some things will be harder – you will learn to value your friends after losing some. Some of the things in your external life will stay the same, but you will use them differently. You may keep and treasure your old trophies, books, etc., but now you will have only a fond memory of the feelings they gave you. Trying to recapture and hold the old feelings is to try to stay in that younger life. That will tend to make your present circumstances worse, not better. The patch made of unshrunk cloth “pulls away from the garment, and the tear is made worse.”

3. The ideas that you cherish lose their emotional weight. What was so true for you before is not so black and white. New ideas are coming in and you are very unsettled about many things. You have a lot of questions. One answer you really like in one situation may not work in other situations. Or you may notice that a new idea will seem good, but is the opposite of an old idea. You begin to feel that they can’t all be together in your head at the same time. Maybe someone will tell you that you are not making sense. You should know this: spiritual growth happens when new ideas have a place in your feelings and life. But don’t try to fit the new ideas into your old habits. Rather, take the time to process any new ideas you have from the Word by giving them a little extra weight, attention, consideration, even honor. This will allow new feelings to connect with the new ideas, building a network in your consciousness. Then, as Jesus illustrated it, you will “put new wine into new wineskins, and both (your ideas and your life!) are preserved.”

The Matthew-like incidents of instance acceptance and change of heart and life will be few and far between. The experience of Christ in your heart will be the result of a progression of states through which the Lord carefully undoes the networks we have built based on falsity by replacing them with new networks based on truth, which we come to love. Open your heart to the process by reading the Word, discovering there the mercy of the Lord.